Tuesday, December 20, 2011

The Difference between need and want.

As a child I read a lot of the Sweet Valley Series, Sweet Valley High,Sweet Valley University, Sweet Valley Kids etc and there is a plot in one SVU book in which Sam Burgess, Elizabeth's love interest leaves her for he is afraid of commitment and needy women. Then later on comes back to realize that Elizabeth does not need him, she wants him.That line stayed with me and as I progressed from becoming a book devouring maniac to a partial shop-a-holic, I always had this line running through me as I went to buy anything. Of course, I never really answered it and fell pray to any sales tactic, i am still happy with the things I bought.
But on a deeper level, I think about this and it makes me wonder how much it applies in our life? We always come across situations and people that make us feel so vulnerable and out of our comfort zone. We act strange like we don't know ourselves, slowly deteriorating, becoming our worse selves. We start living in a cage of self denial and disappointment all because we confused between our needs and wants. Thinking that what we want is something we need and we quit living our life for the deplorable want of that want, that eats away at us.
And as a person watching from outside, no one will want to come close to a person like that And here, I cite the case of Elizabeth Gilbert as she talks about her worst days in eat, pray and love, how meeting David had all those effects on her. He thought she needed him and the more she did, the more he pulled away until she went away herself.
But sometimes, it becomes more of a matter of perception. You care a lot for someone, you go all out for a person and that person starts to think that you need them while you just want them in your life. Sometimes, it is important to make a difference and sometimes it is important to understand the difference.
Just a thought.


  1. Have to agree. I'm doing a serious overhaul and categorising things i want and things and need and things i thought i needed but just wanted.

  2. Thoughts! True. How much very often we come so near to this and, and ignore. Really.