Sunday, May 26, 2013

Recipe of a delusional romantic

I was all of thirteen when the first time I fell in love, he was tall, brooding, handsome and amazingly fun to talk to. Of course he was older than me and I loved that it made me feel so mature discussing my studies and books with him. When I finished reading the first four Harry Potters, he was the first person I ran to to discuss with. This was until one Friday in the school bus when he patted my head and told me that he was trying to set me up with a younger friend of his. That did not really shatter my dream world, and he lasted (or still lasts) as my long enduring first crush.
From the many Mills and Boons and Sweet Valley books that I read, I replaced the hero with him. I would imagine him as the swash buckling millionaire from Italy or a brooding writer from Paris, he existed in all my childish romantic dreams. Every guy that I met would be compared to him and even after losing touch with him after class 7, he kept growing in my dreams and evolved into a perfect custom made man for me. The romantic in me would never give up.
I would watch movies and cook up scenarios for "us" and as school proceeded, I somehow lost touch with any other guy because "he" was so amazingly perfect and no one could replace him. After a hasty and nervous phone call to him one day, I gushed for months at end. He must have forgotten about me by now and I am pretty sure I don't even know what kind of a person he really is but to me, he was my dream man.
Now that I watch my thirteen year old cousin gush over actors in movies and TV serials, show disdain for guys her age, I think of the delusional romantic in me.
Soon I fell in love with Ranveer, a character from my favourite show in class 9 and I would dream of a simple man who had come for vengeance, his style of talking , his intense eyes and his shirts, my perfect man was him and I was madly in love. I would watch him on TV for hours and my heart would skip a beat and in my many dreams he would come for me, dance with me and be mine. Of course the guys around me would lack in comparison.
I would never get over Ranveer and 'him' and my perfect man looked like a handsome mix of them, I would read many love stories and concoct scenarios in my head when a real life guy made these stories from my books come to life.
Suddenly I forgot all about my perfect guy, how he should talk, what he should talk about, what he should wear and how he should look. Suddenly this stumbling fumbling funny guy became my perfect guy. Strangely the delusional romantic in me was laid to rest, I stopped cooking stories in my head, I stopped dreaming up scenarios because the reality seemed all to surreal to me. And so "he" was just another person who I dont really know, Ranveer is that cute/hot guy I loved, xyz is just in a book, abc is from a movie and my perfect man is imperfectly with me and in my delusional romantic mind he makes me smile, laugh, cry and be myself with.


  1. Awwwww! So cute!

    PS - I cant picture you being this nice and romantic...its very odd. :p

  2. Yes Rae, sometimes strange things do happen. :P :D