The Difference between need and want.

As a child I read a lot of the Sweet Valley Series, Sweet Valley High,Sweet Valley University, Sweet Valley Kids etc and there is a plot in one SVU book in which Sam Burgess, Elizabeth's love interest leaves her for he is afraid of commitment and needy women. Then later on comes back to realize that Elizabeth does not need him, she wants him.That line stayed with me and as I progressed from becoming a book devouring maniac to a partial shop-a-holic, I always had this line running through me as I went to buy anything. Of course, I never really answered it and fell pray to any sales tactic, i am still happy with the things I bought.
But on a deeper level, I think about this and it makes me wonder how much it applies in our life? We always come across situations and people that make us feel so vulnerable and out of our comfort zone. We act strange like we don't know ourselves, slowly deteriorating, becoming our worse selves. We start living in a cage of self denial and disappointment all because we confused between our needs and wants. Thinking that what we want is something we need and we quit living our life for the deplorable want of that want, that eats away at us.
And as a person watching from outside, no one will want to come close to a person like that And here, I cite the case of Elizabeth Gilbert as she talks about her worst days in eat, pray and love, how meeting David had all those effects on her. He thought she needed him and the more she did, the more he pulled away until she went away herself.
But sometimes, it becomes more of a matter of perception. You care a lot for someone, you go all out for a person and that person starts to think that you need them while you just want them in your life. Sometimes, it is important to make a difference and sometimes it is important to understand the difference.
Just a thought.

The Revenge Theory

Does it leave us feeling satisfied at the end of the day or we are the same as ever?

I have been surfacing in and out of the theory of Revenge for the past week or so. There are movies made on this, serial plot lines, books and then real live human action to watch as they battle it with their conscience on revenge.

There has always been a time in the life of a person when they have been wronged by somebody and personally, I am conflicted on how one deals with it. You can either take the high road and tell yourself that what goes around comes around or you can go out there and get yourself avenged. Drama much?

But then again, the feeling of being let down by someone or something, the situation not playing for you and the eventual disappointment and heartbreak, revenge does seem worth it, doesn't it? I watch a show called the mentalist where the lead, Patrick Jane is driven by a strong motivation to avenge the murder of his family and helps the crime bureau solve murders. MI4 had Paula Patton kill the murderer of her love interest and then there are the numerous Sunny Deol and Ajay Devgan films in Bollywood all centred on revenge.

One thing, we all must realise and come to terms with is that life is not fair, nor is it perfect. It's our actions that make it so. And along the way people will disappoint you and things will not fall into place sometimes and avenging yourself, setting the deal right might seem alluring(trust me, to me it does. many times) but its what you are going to feel afterwards that seems to matter more.

I have been through this many times, in my head, over and over again, why  me? So have we all, from the smallest things in life to major setbacks.

But one should think from the other person's perspective as well. Why they did what they did. And why they do what they do. It is hard to think of them as people but that's what they are too. They make mistakes and maybe you weren't a mistake to them but you cannot berate yourself over this. Setting yourself in the whole revenge mode, thinking dark and doing dark might ease you for a while but in the end you are no better than the other person, are you?

As i conclude this, all I have understood till now is that the only person who matters is you and how you can face yourself at night. Ruin the bitch who fucked up your life or rise again from the ashes? A la phoenix.

The Disappointment of being Human.

You pin your hopes and dreams on someone and something and then that breaks you in the end. All that you have thought of, all that you ever wanted, everything destroyed in seconds. What you need to do then is to introspect and think, analyse and re-analyse where you went wrong for at the end of the day its you who matters. You need to be able to stand up there and look in the mirror, at your conscience and be able to answer yourself truthfully.
We all suffer from childish fits, the wants and the needs and we need to differentiate between them, it can be a very difficult task. I have been through this and something i read in a teen fiction came to me once, the lead suddenly realises that that the heroine maybe wants him and does not need him and this changes everything about the dynamics of the relationship. He starts to perceive her as an independent woman and questions his actions. I am just drawing analogy here for this question of need and want always surfaces everywhere, be it in your professional life when you need that raise or do want it? In your daily life when you need to buy that pair of uggs or do want them? personally, it is a good thing to maybe just pause and first answer this question.
But even after you categorise your need and wants no one says that you wont be disappointed when you don't get you "want". For the thing that you want is the thing that makes you the happiest, it is something that can lighten up your darkest days and make you complete or just bring a smile to your face and not getting it will only fuel all your negative feelings and energies. Philosophy dictates that fr every disappointment that we have, we will find something else that will make us happier in and feel better about ourselves. It is the law of karma, newton's third law, the balance of mankind.
And maybe that thing wont be what you wanted at that point but slowly you will realise how important it actually is for you must remember that it managed to break through all your barriers of wants and needs, it ripped through the sadness engulfing you, strong and stoic and it managed to finally pull you out of the dark abyss of desolation.
it will take time and it wont be easy for as humans, although we are presented with a lot of disappointments, we hardly seem to rise above it and keep wallowing in self pity. Cry all you want and exhaust it, do other things that you want to do and just don't ever shut all the doors for that will only lead to a darker night and a darker life.

Why I love Eat, Pray and Love

Off late many people have commented much on the fact that I love this book, Eat, pray and Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. Some say that a self help memoir is not what they need while some disparage the whole book, crediting Julia Roberts for its success. I had tried reading it before the whole "Julia Roberts came to India" angle and since I was in my Meg Cabot/Harry Potter phase, I pretty much gave up on it, until now.

I read it a month ago and since I have a final exam tomorrow, there is nothing better to do than write about why I love this book.

The book chronicles the life of Liz Gilbert for a year, after her divorce, as she travels through three countries, Italy, India and Indonesia. It is a journey of her thoughts and a mental growth process we all experience. I could relate to this book and suddenly, I had many of my friends queuing up to advice me on how to overcome my depression and sending me contacts of various shrinks.And I did contact one but I realised I was way better than this.

The reason I and a million other people connected with the book is that it is honest, blatantly honest about the woman and her feeling as she traverses the highs and lows of her life. Her courage and willingness to explore all sides of herself, as a person and a human being. Something, we don't normally do. We tend to love in a self created bubble of perfectness, an illusion that we are doing the right, we have what we want and we are perfect in every sense. But deep inside, every human being has this whirring noisy mind that gives a reality check now and then. It is all about how well we listen to it and how well we ignore it.

I have experienced it personally while judging certain situations in my life from an objective point of view, writing down my thoughts and all my convoluted reasons and logic and reading this book made me feel that I was not alone. There is this another person who echos my thoughts. maybe, the context is different but the basic thought process is the same. I could relate to her.

I could relate to Liz and the trauma she underwent during her divorce. The self loathing, the loneliness and the depression. I could relate to her need to indulge in worldly pleasures and her need to cleanse herself and her mind. 

And so can everyone else. As humans and people living life in a world where nothing is perfect, we encounter situations and deal with them in our own way. And the whole time we reason things out, each small step there is, we think about it and list it and keep going on and this is what the book is all about. Reasoning and logic.

And the need to escape.

Maybe, not escape in the real sense, but sometimes, we all need a break from the monotonous drudgery we build for ourselves, a break to clear our minds and experience world in a different light.

And the book gives hope, a hope for change. A hope that when everything in your life is down, you will find light at the end of the tunnel.

Liz lost all her money in the divorce, sold her house, left her country and had no idea where life would take her and she found the best friends and people from all over the world, Luca who became a friend for life, Richard from Texas, who taught her to clear her mind, Ketut and Wayan, who helped her as she helped them and finally Felipe, the man she ended up marrying, for life.

The book is a real account. And the story gives hope.

Attraversiamo!

Exams and the perpetual state of non existence

Come end semester season and I get stuck in limbo. With a non existence I really hate. And here is my post, cribbing about everything and anything that causes me duress during this ghastly season of eternal boredom and brain damaging physics.

1.Too much Physics: I know I signed up for this, but really, I am a writer and forcefully pushing in all the mundane laws of physics, the formulae, the horrendous diagrams and graphs are all just an exercise in futility. I find no real use to all the crap I have been forced to learn because let's be real, no company would want me as an engineer, I'd only destroy anything that comes near me. I don't even know what those triangles are in the circuits we study and we did those in the second sem or maybe the first?

2.Forced break from writing: I love to write. Period. And these stupid crazy days force me to take a break from writing anything I want to. As a result, all those words in me, the great thoughts and future masterpieces of literature are lost to the world.

3. Random Research: That's what I call stuff I like to read about, dig deep into and be a know-it-all about, my random research. from the many serial killers to human behavioral patterns to the legend of the shroud of Turin to history of Mickey Mouse. I like it all and I like to know it all and frankly, people around me will only be scared if I try this "stunt" during the exams when I am supposed to be lapping up all those great new theories of physics.

4.Trade Fair?Not fair!!: Being in Delhi, I sorely miss the Mumbai Vada Pav. I really really do and trade fair is the only time when I can get something that closely resembles the real deal. Why cant Delhi street food vendors be more versatile?!! And my November exams have ruined this experience for me for the past three years. No more Vada Pav. Well someone said they will courier it to me, I am still waiting. ;)

5.Late night talks: The routine of every hosteler. Random chats on the SMS and late night phone calls and catching up with everyone you know. I miss that! Half the people I know are studying during this time and the other half are there but I have to pretend to be a part of the study bandwagon, sadly.

6. TV Shows: The winter season on TV starts and is at its peak in November. And to add to my duress, I have to miss these shows. i cant download them and watch at leisure because of this stupid guilt trip in my head. Hmph! Exams.

7.Work and All that: And all the work I need to do, from the classes to take, to new things to learn and the partying and socialising. I miss it all and this happens to be the best weather of all times!!! Cool and nice.

Exams really are a downer, especially when one is learning stuff that is really pointless. It is to me. Why cant we have a paper on Harry Potter??

It still WAS a productive day.

What began as a perfectly normal day became one involving a lot of walking today and to lazy me, it would have been a prospect full of horror but for the company I had.

So here, we were at the New Delhi station, lost amidst throngs of people who actually knew what they wanted, trying to get some tickets for a last minute trip to Jammu. Thanks to much confusion, drama and stupidities on our part, we managed NOT to get them. In the interim, we disturbed about a dozen people, calling them up for favours of all kinds as we tried to maneuver around the station with weird people coming to us with all sorts of unwanted help, from autos, to free advice and many creepy stares. And the station area stinks so much as well..!! ugh.

So, to lift up our spirits after this exposure to a stinky, creepy, staring side of delhi, we rode to CP, fought over movie seats, stuffed ourselves with McDonalds burger and sat to watch Mujhse fraaaandship karoge. And much to the chagrin of my poor friend, I laughed at all innapproprite parts making poor romantic moments in the film extremely funny, well, to psychotic me, they WERE funny. My defense.

We sat and froze inside the theater, had hearty discussion about everything in life, thawed outside in the CP sun, Sonu controlled my shopaholic fits(I still bought 5 new things! yay!!) and we had shakes at that place where they sell awesome milk shakes( I don't know its name!!)

So, it was a fun day, despite the disappointments with a prospect of a weekend full of some interesting stuff( We need to go out!! )

Mausam: An Artist's rendition

Here I was, a Tom Cruise fan skimming through the paper a year ago when I spotted something looking right out of Top Gun, it was Shahid Kapoor, in a mustache! with Tom's Top Gun hairstyle and uniform. I laughed a lot that day. He did look funny and I forgot about it.
And then came the trailers few weeks back and suddenly I was hooked. Despite subtle references to Top Gun, the movie looked interesting, it WAS Pankaj Kapoor making it after all. and Shahid Kapoor didn't hurt the eye, he looked good, his dance moves interesting and his smile, a faint reminiscent of Tom cruise. I HAD to see this movie!!!
I was warned against it by people and then my exams put everything on hold. Luckily I visited my mom's friend, the other day and she was all praises for the movie. Army people after all, she loved the whole air force plot of the movie despite the real less screen space it got and that was reason enough and I went for it today.
And Mausam, is a like a canvas to me and Pankaj Kapoor is an amazing awe-inspiring artist. It's like looking at such a simple story with deep intricacies in it. Nuances that are not obvious at first but the whole experience extremely beautiful. The simple story, the cliches, the accidents and the obvious plot line are all just there to enhance the complete landscape that has been painted.
And the most beautiful part of the movie is the "idea" behind it, meshing world "events" with a love story, it reminded me of Leo Tolstoy and his storytelling. The rustic village of Punjab, the Scottish highland and the Indian Airforce, all make up for an amazing experience as a movie goer and such a relief after brain numbing films like Bodyguard and Dabangg took over the cinema halls.
Mausam is not a movie you see for the story or the songs or the actors, it is for the director you should watch it and for the experience.
Pankaj Kapoor is an truly and artist.!
And the Tom Cruise lover that i am..I love Shahid's copied hairstyle and uniform. :D :D
And the fact that every Fauji is a superhero according to Hindi Films. I love it! :D

Room re-decorating spree

With exam season going on, my only respite from books is going crazy on my room. so after much "research" on various types of styles I decided to buy black sheets and turn my room into my pallete, working on redecorating it..!!
So here is the result. I am happy
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for now. :D

Illuminati: How true is the the truth?

I have spent the better part of my last few days reading up and watching weird(for a lack of a better word) videos. As I spent my time studying(Shocker!) and working (the sad necessity of life), these videos were my time pass until I came upon one suggesting that Heath Ledger's death was a conspiracy by the Illuminati. With a serious face, I controlled my laughter at the absurd allegations and watched the video of this person who claimed to suggest that a group of Satan worshippers had done away with heath for he was no longer in their control. His reason range from why would the actor commit suicide when he had a young daughter and was recovering from drug addiction? Plausible enough and then he went on to say that the Illuminati gave clues to his murder from clipping of the last film, the actor did. Check out the video if you are really interested.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdSWSrpOYuk
Now, every reader and/or a Dan Brown fan would have come across Illuminati in his novel, Angels and Demons. Brown explained the group as a sect of Illuminates:the enlightened ones, scientists and academic people who were banned by the church for propagating beliefs not endorsed by the Church. hence, the anti-church/Satan worshippers angle to the group. Further research on the group led to the explanation of many symbols and practices which had been deemed controversial. The famous head of Satan, the horned god of Egypt, bapometh was a god of fertility. The all seeing eye, on the American bank note, a Freemason symbol as many founding fathers of the country were Freemason, nothing satanic about them. And then, Illuminati ceased to exist. And I stopped thinking about it.
Until, I read how Brittany Murphy and her husband also her handler were murdered by the Illuminati. Strangely, their deaths were never explained. cardiac arrest at such age from no apparent reason, do court controversy. And conspiracy buffs were once again agog with the fact that the Illuminati predicted her death. Her last film, the deadline showed her getting killed in the bathroom, the same way she died in real life.
Then there is a series of Illuminati videos and material on the net that raises many strange questions and cites facts. The symbolism and references to death are stupid. But the strange events might not be. here are some of the points, I haven't really understood.
1.Michael Jackson always talked about the industry being racist and people being after him. After his death, his sister LaToya said to the cameras, "They have killed my brother and they know who they are." Jermaine Jackson talked about "they" on a TV show as did his mother and father.So, obviously, the whole family could not be paranoid. Could they?
2.The inexplicable deaths of so many celebrities at a young age from no known causes. It is creepy.
3.The defamation of celebrities who speak about such controversies. Like Charlie Sheen, who questioned 9-11 was suddenly held for domestic abuse and drug addiction.
4.The Assassination of presidents who spoke against such secrets and secret societies, read: Abe Lincoln and JFK. And no headway has ever been made into their deaths.
5.FEMA camps located in all 50 states of USA. Why do we need modern day concentration camp like things which can house millions. The government says its for a national emergency. What kind of emergency they anticipate?http://www.freedomfiles.org/war/fema.htm
6.Prince Charles talks about disasters occurring around the world for 4 years.He said this in 2008. A 2012 controversy?
7. Hugo Chavez said in a press conference that USA has a weapon called HAARP that produces drastic climate changes and is responsible for the earthquakes at Haiti and Chile and all over the world. He can't be delusional, can he?http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_Frequency_Active_Auroral_Research_Program
8. Conspiracy buffs talk about an American holocaust advertisement which ran on MTV for two weeks. An indication of an upcoming American holocaust, they say.

9. And the many references to a New World Order by the president, the pope and the British Prince.

I am undecided on it. Maybe there is some other explanation for the Illuminati sounds too far fetched. But then again, truth is stranger than fiction.

Four years, At last.

This week heralded the start of what many of my college mates had been dreading. The final year, the end of a blissful college life and an entry into the real world.
Regretfully(NOT), I don't echo those feelings and I doubt I would ever do. It is not the sadist in me or the cold-hearted as well.Simply put, I am more excited about what life has to bring, now that in a span of 10 months we will be free from the shackles of the ordinary and expected and go on and live our lives on our own.
After school, we had a taste of independence, but this was limited to no curfew outings, shopping alone or partying. real independence is when we get to make key decisions in our life, live it the way want, are allowed to make mistakes and are responsible solely for ourselves.Despite the stress of real life, the finances, the houses, the job and social life, I am looking forward to it.
And I choose to enjoy this last year of engineering with as much gusto as ever and obviously will miss my friends who are now a family, the crazy outings, the non stop laugh sessions, Pajama parties, Gossip nights, Crushes and heartbreaks and always being there for each other.
Some snapshots of us. Love you ALL.

Indians are racists.

An article in a tabloid, today, prompted me to think about the fact that when it comes to the colour of skin, Indians can go completely from ludicrously bizarre to ridiculously absurd. The article spoke about how Hollywood and the American populace in general feel that Freida Pinto is gorgeous. The rudeness and racism was obvious in the last line when the writer finishes off the article with the quote, "Love is blind." Not only did I find it offensive, but belittling for the actress as well. Apparently, beauty is only skin deep, when it comes to the scale of "gorgeousness" our tabloids have.
Not only popular media, but a regular person is also smitten by the charm of the white skin. More so in North India where the fairer you are, the prettier you are supposed to be. And it does not matter whether your nose is off center or your eyes are squinted. You just need to be fair.Period.
So, it comes as a no surprise, that even after so many years of "white rule", we are still stuck in this bubble of the rule of the whites. A talentless, non Hindi speaking girl gets into the film industry just because she is white and has no other talent, still, other than her white skin. And another white lady manages to ensnare a husband for herself, build a career out of no skills and talent in modelling and then in the film industry.
Even politics is not far behind, with the white daughter-in-law of Mrs. G making news, fascinating millions, producing two more white dimwits and ruling the country from the backseat. I have personally heard my maids and her friends talk about her with such fascination and awe that it is puke-worthy. One maid gained celebrity status in her community, after she managed to touch this white woman's hand at some rally in some god forsaken place.
And then, Indians are always too ready to play the victim when it comes to any incident in white people land. From the attacks in Australia(I still doubt they were racially motivated) to discrimination in USA and UK. We don't look at what we do, as country of mixed race. It saddens me deeply that people pass comments on the dark skinned ones ranging from calling them all sorts of names, talk about their plight in "Black states" and then wonder why these people hate them so. A little introspection, I say.
And it is funny when aunties gather around you and comment on how fair you have gotten(after a trip to the mountains) or how dark you have become(after a sea-side party).If I could, I'd rather comment on how fat the aunties have become, how cylindrical they are now, almost spherical, how nauseating their clothes' choice is and how much their breath stinks. If only I can.

Wish List...

With the onset of the birthday season, I decided to make public my very own wish list.

I want! I want! I Want!!

1. The "Top Gun" Tom Cruise in a box.Get him anyhow..!!!

2.Entry into Hogwarts.And not the fake one in Scotland or the studios..!! I want the real deal..!!

3. A portal to enter the fantasy world of Victorian Romance, meet all the Darcys and the the Rochesters of the world..!! *Sigh*

4.Shoes that actually fit me. The sexy heels that look so alluring and the classic Jimmy Choo designs.

5.Tangle free hair.With curls!!

6.World peace.( I was so tempted to write this.! :D)

7.Fat free, calorie-less ice creams and chocolates which taste good too.

8.A large large large teddy bear!!! 

9.Sid Mallya's British/Indian accent.

10.Rains Rains and more rains...

And please feel free to suggest more things, as only few are going to be taxed with completing this list. You can always add to their miseries..!!

The sorry state of Indian Journalism

It is a reflection that has caught my fancy and as I scrounged various newspapers, magazines and news channels available in plenty, I have come to the conclusion that Indian Journalism has lost its sheen which was so painfully acquired by a certain Barkha Dutt those fateful days, back in 1999.
The newspapers, for a want of a better word are nothing but glorified tabloids with front page news covering the outrageously ridiculous antics of our politicians, the botox-ed, lip tucked, polygamous film stars and the omnipresent cricket team. Somehow, the lack of originality and issues to cover is a constant cause of intellectual drought that has been plaguing this world. I wonder what has happened to the basic principals of journalism, these papers are based on? Where exactly has the spirit to report, unearth a story and write disappeared? Why is it that world class papers have news covering every important aspect of the world, the debt crisis, the wars, the scandals and somehow our flawed narrow appetite for gossip has not been satiated. And it is absolutely ridiculous the way articles are being written in such journals.It makes me question the suitability of the reporters, supposedly "writing" the news. The fall of language, the lack of grammar and a coherence of thoughts only add to my linguistic woes, piling on to the intellectual feces that has accumulated over time.
News channel are a much cause of hilarity and I am not even going to waste this space on the crappy, shit-head, low IQ channels littering the air space. English news channels were still bearable with niche journalists like Pranoy Roy, Barkha Dutt and Arunabh Goswami at its helm.*respect*
Other than few shows hosted by them and few others produced by them, the English news channels are just a melting pot of anchors sporting fake accents and news topics which have been lifted off the CNN and BBC. Its actually funny that they cover "important world news" like the Norway killing, Syria Attacks, Euro crises, the phone hacking scandal etc few days later than they actually happened. I suppose, they wait for the economist, the time and other magazines to get matter ready for them. And yet it surprises me that they could cover the death of Amy Winehouse(the same day as the Norway killing which were almost blissfully ignored) and the Will-Kate marriage(which received 24 hour live coverage) with full zest and proper timing. Its shameful that journalism and reporting has just become another name for tabloid trash picking in our country.
I wonder what is the reason for such state of affairs?Why is it that the Indian audience is considered so dim-witted and dense that they are fed a regular dose of gossip and political drama but nothing that could be held remotely close to the world class publications available.Or maybe, the Indian audience is stupid, maybe they do want their dose of TV serial gossip, who married whom?Rahul Gandhi's latest comments, which paani puri walah pissed in his foodstuff and which lonely housewife ran away with her much younger boyfriend.
A pity.

Thrift shopping and its joys.

Lately I have been bitten by the shopping bug and much to the dismay of my parents, I love it.!

After abstaining from my previous spendthrift ways for almost a year, its good to be back on the shopping bandwagon.

My travels through different markets plaguing the city have taken me from the old yet well stocked malls of Gurgaon to skeleton replicas of the same in West Delhi, from cheap flea markets to the university shoppers' haven, knags.

Every shopping trip of mine has been a well planned execution of the day's budget, travel time, friends and pure shopping joy.

One memorable trip was when I spent seven straight hours shopping with my sister and A. Right after the end of the college year, we spent hours scrounging the market for clothes."A" wanted to buy an outfit for this wedding she was attending and we rose to the task. Looking at extremely costly traditional wear in famous shops, trying out outfits and pretending to be oh-so-smart and experienced at such shopping by talking about the make of the cloth and design a la our mothers. But I still suspect that no one really believed us but we did end up buying a really awesome black dress suit.We even tried a shady looking empty restaurant where there was just one guy playing multiple roles, the chef, the receptionist and the waiter. Despite the slow service the food was good and the entertainment, hilarious( a couple sat in front of us and ensued much amusement and laughter.)And this was the trip where we walked around for seven straight hours(Yes, I counted) and by the end of it, my wallet was literally empty, having spent the last 20 bucks on the rickshaw.This was also the day A decided that FMS was not for her as the building was too small. Don't know if she has changed her mind or not.I have always loved shopping with "A", every time I am sad, its a cure for me.Shopping and a good dose of "A".

The next trip was on a hot day with my cousins. We had a fixed budget and a fixed item to buy.But I digressed from the plan(damn!). But it was good fun, we speed shopped, buying T-shirts and tops at random, filling in our bags.It wasn't our fault, really, there was a discount and the stuff was really good, ask my sister.And then, the heat got to us and we ran inside a noodle shop.Tasty, it was and we were back home in a record 4 hours.!

To cure, me of my flea market shopping spree, dad took me to the nearest mall and let me loose.He wanted me to buy "quality" stuff. But after spending so less for so more, it really gets hard to break the habit and ended up just doing a recce of the place and checking out the latest fashions, much to the disappointment of dad.:D:D

The next few trips were tame, shopping at "respectable" stores, buying "respectable" stuff. At least my dad was happier, despite a lighter wallet.

Last weekend I met my school friend after a long long time. Love you, E!! It was awesome despite a perpetual threat by my other idiotic friend.That was the day, I finally managed to get my hands on 2 awesome pairs of shoes and at a discount at that!! That shoes store made me fall in love with Gurgaon malls. Good stuff.

And the latest trip was once again in a cheap place for cheap roadside shopping. A day spent window shopping and buying anything that caught my fancy.

Thrift shopping has filled my wardrobe with a number of clothes, shoes, bags and accessories.And my wallet is happy while I can pretend I am shopping at a trendy fashion label(The clothes do look similar if you squint your eyes.)

Tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me.

A random analysis of the most desirable men in English Literature.

Fitzwilliam Darcy: Inevitably topping the list, Mr Darcy is as desirable as desirable can be. Made immortal on celluloid by Colin firth, he is one guy every guy should read about.Proud, with an air of being class apart and yet someone who has a heart large enough for people he cares about. His trademark is his inability to express himself and yet when he does, he does it such elegance and charm that it melts your heart. A gentleman by birth and by actions, he is every guy's envy and every woman's fantasy. A true epitome of strong and silent types.

Edward Rochester:"I ask you to pass through this life at my side, to be my second self, my earthly companion."
Because some people are so brutally honest that you either hate them or love them. Mr. Rochester stands as a typical Byronic hero. he has no charms and no regrets about it either.Not described as either handsome or amiable, he exudes an aura around him which drags you into him. He might be rough and crass in his actions but when he speaks of his feelings, he knows exactly what to say. A person who wears his heart on his sleeve and yet is dark and mysterious enough to make you want to know him even better.

George Knightley: This is one man who stands in the background, judging and weighing everything. His attraction lies in his maturity, a sensible and kind person who often steps in to help the underdog. His passions lie submerged and yet somehow he flares up for people he cares for.A lover, we all want.

Heathcliff: He has always stood against all adversities for his love. A person who brews with deep passion and the feelings which even love cannot explain. His dedication towards the person he loves is such that he willingly leads his whole life for her, dying with her and killing for her. The world and the society holds no meaning for him as he stands his ground for the one he loves.Knowing all too well, that she loves him too.

Love, he said always hurts and he takes in that hurt and immerses himself in it. A true example of the darkest shade of love, the passionate and the strongest.

The Dog Walking Chronicles.

It has happened.
What I had been dreading all this time.
Seems like my laziness is finally put on hold as is my beauty sleep.*sigh*
The tragedy that has so fallen on my fragile shoulders is the fact that I am being forced to wake up at ungodly hours to walk my dog. A pity for I am still so in love with my comfy bed and my hoard of pillows of all shapes and sizes.
This task fell on me after my many failed attempts to evade this chore.As Mom, Dad and my sis routinely took on the early morning dog walk part, i slept in pure sleeper's bliss. And then it was unanimously decided that I should be the one getting kicked out of the bed.
In Sleepers hell every morning i have discovered a whole new perspective of seeing the world around me. The dog's way.
As my dog, Casper often runs amok in every possible direction, picking fights with dogs ten times his size, ignoring the tiny cute ones, fighting with the doodh-wallahs and the newspaper guy it has been an eye opening week.
The first thing I noticed was the many nooks and crannies seemingly straight, boring roads have.Hidden holes, tiny doggy hills, small jungles, dried up poop land and all you can sniff places.
The innocent looking park got a new notoriety as the go to place for dog poop. I have spent the whole week jumping around dried and wet samples of dog shit from murky yellow to disgusting brown. It can be traumatic for a non-poop person like me.
The next hidden travesty were the cement roads where there are secret places for dogs. Here, I found a whole variety of doggy treasure from last night's leftovers to rotting fruits, collected crap from the roads and an omnipresent stink.
Pillars and cars also get a new meaning as the poop and pee motel for dogs. Stray dog rent a place to stay while spoiled dogs like mine only use the facilities, per se.
And as I have tried telling my parents and failed at it, it seems my day will always begin with a good dose of dog poop.

Shit happens.

Cyber Stalking: Why I like what I do.

And why I wont stop.

SUPER SEVEN REASONS TO STALK

1.A free pass for a pass at good looking examples of human species. Sigh! If only such people would grace us in real life.

2.Amateur James Bond on developing love stories.

3.Sleuthing on those evil cracks who cracked your real life. There is nothing more satisfying than seeing such a person fall on his face in the cyber world.

4.Encyclopedia on people you don't really know much. Where they partied, with whom did they party, where did they sleep last night?wink wink

5.A 24x7 vigil on your latest crush. Is he seeing someone?Why did that girl comment on so many posts of his?

6.Spying on that evil reincarnate of Medusa.The one who might steal your guy from under you. Very important.

7.Keep track of your teachers on fb. (Don't know about it but my "sources" say its useful.).

My tryst with astrology

I am a big fan of the zodiacs, from reading the daily horoscopes to personality analysis, numerological significance, planetory motions, stars etc. I have done it all.
Somehow, this doesn't go too well with my father who says that according to me 1/12th of the entire population the world should have the same personality traits. But then again, I have my own counter argument that personality traits are not completely because of the sun signs, we have the stellar positions to count for, the moon sign, other planets, time of birth and date of birth. To which he would just laugh. Hmph!
I have tried this on many people, my close friends, poor victims of my amateur astrology. I have so painstakingly checked their zodiac, their planets, their stars, numerology, read accounts from all known astrologers (Linda Goodman to the rescue), made up my own hypothesis, conclusions and by the time I'd be ready to publish my paper, they'd be off somewhere else, not interested in my research.
And I have tried this with so many of my crushes(being a Leo, it is a sizeable number), I'd read and re-read their personality traits, analyse their behaviour, discuss on forums and by the time I am done with what they exactly are, I'd have a new sign to search for.
So, when I fell in love with Tom Cruise, a Cancer, I was pleased that I have a new zodiac to explore and I was really pleased with all the analysis, Leo and Cancers are the perfect match. Opposites attract.Fire to his water etc etc. And then he married. Sad.
Then it was Rupert Grint, a Virgo. My school friends still associate me with him. I'd read and re-read stuff about Virgos. Perfect match. opposites attract. Fire and Earth. And then he turned ugly. A pity.
Sid Mallya, few months ago, a Taurus.  A Greek God to me. And since one of my best friends is a Taurus, I was on cloud nine. The forums had some new insight on him now. Perfect match, they said. Opposites attract. I am still in love with him. <3
Then, it were my best friends, a Virgo, a Saggitarius, a Taurus, two Cancers, an Aries and my close friends two Virgos, a Leo, a Scorpio, a Saggitarius and the people I could never gel with a Capricon, many Leos, a Virgo, a Scorpio and the ones who annoyed the hell out of me, a Leo, a Gemini, an Aquarius, a Saggitarius and the list goes on.
I suppose its all individual, seeing how ridiculous my lists sound.I'd rather give the person time than sit in a corner reading up and discussing his personality traits instead of finding out about the person first hand.
Maybe, its time to bid Ms. Goodman, goodbye.
Josh Duhamel
November 14 1972
A Scorpio
hmm...

Laziness and other other disasters

Being absent from the writing sphere has mainly to do with a certain some body's laziness in opening up the laptop and typing, but common sense prevailed, albeit after a long time and I am back.
Watching teenage soaps and reading novels all day long while in a self inflicted house arrest got me to the point where every movie becomes interesting, The Makeover.
And I trudged over to the dressing room and inspected myself and after much deliberation and cajoling my mother, I managed to get the moolah I needed and shopping I went. Solo shopping had never held much appeal to me as it did now as I traipsed various stores, trying on dresses and spending hours at the M.A.C. Unfortunately, with my flare for the dramatic and with the many ideas floating in my head, I decided to give myself a haircut, a feat i usually try once every year and to disastrous results. But this time I liked what I did and from trying on my old wardrobe to pinching my sister's clothes(Yes! I fit in some!! Yay!), I tried everything and it has been fun.
And yesterday, in a fit of whatever latest makeover video i have been watching, i bleached my hair, aiming for the Lady gaga blond. But sadly, my black hair and thick locks prevented that and I am stuck with a Ginny Weasley types reddish blond looking like millions of wannabe roadside characters who sport "blond" hair. Sheesh.
On a personal front, I hope my makeovers help me mover from the past drudgeries that have been clouding my mind and like in the movies, I get to be the new me soon..!
Next on my list: A tattoo(And I already have the design as well!)